Perfect Proposal: The Top 10 Engagement Ring Mistakes to Avoid 

The moment you start thinking about proposing, everything shifts. Ordinary things become significant: dinner out, a walk in the park, a glance at their jewellery box. And then comes "the ring": a symbol of love, yes, but also a silent spokesperson for everything you feel and hope for. No pressure, right?

Choosing a ring isn't simply about finding a beautiful jewel, it's about sidestepping the hidden engagement ring mistakes that could turn a perfect proposal into a near miss. These aren't ordinary mistakes, either; they're the kind that often go unnoticed until much later. This guide will help you spot them early so they never become part of your story.

1. Going in Without a Clue (Even a Little One)

You wouldn't set off on a journey without a map. And yet, so many do exactly that when shopping for an engagement ring. A crash course in the 4Cs is a good start, but don't stop there. Think about their lifestyle. Do they wear jewellery every day? Are they drawn to vintage details or clean, modern lines? The goal isn't to become a gemmologist overnight. It's to walk into a jeweller's boutique or open that tab online with confidence, not confusion.

Insider tip: Start with their existing jewellery. Are the metals warm (yellow gold) or cool (platinum or white gold)? Do they favour minimalism or maximalism? Do they wear diamonds alone or enjoy colour, and if so, which hue stands out? Trust what you see. Their everyday choices are the clearest guide to a ring they'll treasure forever and will tell you more than any search history ever could.

2. Believing a Bigger Diamond Means Better

It's tempting to equate carat size with importance and value but trust me, what catches the eye isn't always what captures the heart. A diamond's value lies not in its size but in its soul. A smaller stone, perfectly proportioned and cut, can radiate a brilliance that speaks louder than carat weight. It's not about the spectacle, it's about the synergy between light, craftsmanship and meaning.

Why? Because diamonds are priced per carat, those prices spike at milestone weights like 0.5, 1.00 and 2.00. A 1.00-carat diamond frequently costs significantly more per carat than a 0.90-carat one, even though the visual difference is barely noticeable once the stone is set.

More importantly, it's the cut, not the carat weight, that determines a diamond's brilliance. A beautifully cut 0.90-carat diamond will almost always look more radiant than a duller full-carat stone. So, if you're aiming to impress, smart shopping might just shine brighter than spending big.

Insider tip: Look for a diamond graded as an 'Excellent' or 'Ideal' cut. This is where the magic lies because cut is what makes a diamond dance with light.

3. Overlooking the Power of Colour

Diamonds may be traditional, but they're not the only way to signal forever. More and more couples are choosing coloured gemstones—think sapphires, emeralds, rubies or more unexpected stones like spinel or tourmaline—to make an engagement ring feel personal and meaningful.

Whether it's an investment gem, a birthstone, or simply a favourite hue, a vibrant centre stone can create a ring that feels entirely their own. In fact, coloured gemstones often deliver greater visual drama than a diamond at a similar price point. 

Even bolder still are the rising stars of recent years: salt and pepper diamonds, with their smoky, galaxy-like inclusions, and teal sapphires, whose inky, oceanic hues have found a cult following. They may not suit every style, but for some, they're just perfect.

Insider tip: If you're considering a coloured gemstone, ask about durability. Stones with a Mohs hardness of 7 or above are generally suitable for everyday wear, but it's not always that simple. Emeralds, for instance, score 7.5-8, yet their natural inclusions make them more prone to damage. Sapphires and rubies are a safer bet for longevity, but whatever you choose, make sure it's a stone that will last, as well as one you love.

4. Ignoring the Impact of Gemstone Shape

The classic round brilliant cut remains the most popular diamond shape for an engagement ring. Yet, in 2025, unconventional cuts have gained momentum for their innate elegance and larger visual presence per carat.

Elongated shapes like oval and marquise appear larger than they weigh, and emerald cuts, with their long, mirror-like facets, are perfect for those who favour sophistication over showiness.

Additionally, there's a growing interest in antique cushion cuts, which bring a touch of old-world charm to modern settings. And for those seeking something even more distinctive, east-west settings, where the stone is set horizontally, are also gaining popularity. Check out Zendaya's engagement ring for inspiration. 

Insider tip: If you're open to exploring beyond the round brilliant cut, these alternative shapes not only offer a distinct look but can also provide more visual impact for your budget. Shapes like the emerald cut, marquise or antique cushion not only offer a sleek silhouette or period charm. They also create the illusion of a larger-sized diamond on the hand, making every facet work a little harder. And be sure to view them in motion to understand how they play with light—that's where their true beauty lies.

5. Missing the Clues They've Been Giving You for Months

They've probably been dropping hints: a casual comment during a movie, a saved post, a prolonged pause at a jewellery counter. If you're not paying attention, you'll miss them, and that's a mistake that's harder to undo than a receipt. Friends, sisters, and even mums know more than you think. Enlist help if you need it, but keep your circle small. The magic lies in the surprise.

Insider tip: If they don't suspect a thing, enlist a close friend to ask what kind of ring they'd choose "just for fun" and report back. If they're already on high alert, you'll need to go undercover. Casually mention a friend or colleague's unusual engagement ring choice and ask what they think. Their reaction will speak volumes, with no alarm bells triggered.

6. Overlooking What's Inside the Ring

No, not a secret engraving, though we'll get to that in a moment. We're talking about ethics. Where do the diamonds come from? Were the metals responsibly sourced? Is the piece handmade or mass-produced?

You don't need to shout it from the rooftops, but knowing that your ring doesn't come at someone else's expense adds weight and meaning. It becomes more than beautiful—it becomes right.

Insider tip: Behind every gemstone lies a journey. Ask about that journey: where it began, who shaped it and how it reached your hands. If a jeweller doesn't talk openly about sustainability, seek out someone who does. A reputable jeweller will have clear answers or, better yet, certifications.

Bonus tip: While you're thinking about what's inside the ring, consider a secret engraving—a meaningful date, a phrase, a single word or a hidden message that only the two of you will know. Most jewellers offer this service, allowing you to choose the font or even use your own handwriting.

7. Guessing Their Ring Size (And Inevitably Getting It Wrong)

This is one of the easiest mistakes to make and one of the most frustrating to fix. Too tight, and you risk panic, too loose, and it will slip off the finger. Borrow a ring they wear on the correct finger and trace its circumference—if you can do so unnoticed—or ask a trusted friend to subtly suss it out. If you're stuck, size up slightly. It's easier to make a ring smaller than larger.

Insider tip: Many jewellers offer a free first resizing. Ask before you buy, and keep the receipt in case you need a post-proposal tweak.

8. Throwing Away the Paperwork (or Forgetting to Get It)

Receipts, certification, insurance—it's not the glamorous side of engagement ring shopping, but it's absolutely essential. A good ring deserves proper documentation, and safeguarding it starts the moment it's in your hands. Have it appraised, get it insured, and keep all the paperwork together.

Insider tip: Create a dedicated folder (physical or digital) to store everything neatly. It's a small but meaningful way to show that this moment matters.

9. Thinking the Ring Is the Proposal

The ring may begin the story, but the proposal sets the tone. Make it resonate with truth, tenderness, and joy because long after the ring has been admired, the story you tell will shine brightest in your memory. The moment you ask, the words you choose, and the atmosphere you create. That's the part they'll replay in their mind for the rest of their life. 

Insider tip: Once you have the ring, sit down and write a few thoughts: why you're proposing, what they mean to you, and what you hope your future holds. When the moment comes, you'll have the words ready, even if your voice shakes. 

10. Forgetting That This Is Just the Beginning

The engagement ring may be the first precious jewel you choose together, but it won't be the last. It marks the beginning of a shared story—one that may eventually include wedding bands, anniversary stones, heirloom redesigns and personal milestones captured in gems.

Insider tip: Don't be afraid to think beyond this moment. Whether you're planning a matching wedding band or dreaming of future pieces, choosing a ring that allows for evolution—of taste, of design, of story—will make it even more meaningful over time.

After the celebrations, when the excitement settles, your engagement ring remains a daily reminder of a moment you planned with care and love. Trust your instincts, do your homework, and remember that the best decisions are made with both your head and your heart. With careful planning and a clear understanding of what truly matters, you can navigate the process with confidence and find a ring that's not only beautiful but unmistakably theirs.